This handout was for a workshop presented at Saying It Out Loud, May 14, 2010
Defining Resiliency
• Resiliency is the ability to “spring back” from adversity.
• Most people have some level of natural resiliency.
• Children from troubled families or environments often develop skills that help them cope with the adversity in their environment and grow emotionally stronger in the process.
• The idea of natural resiliency goes against much traditional thinking about outcomes for youth who grow up in challenging situations.
• Resiliency can be learned.
The Relevance of Resiliency with LGBTQ Teens
• A disproportionate number of “at-risk” youth are LGBTQ.
• Various studies have shown this population to be particularly high risk for:
-- Suicidal ideation and attempts.
-- Self-harming behavior.
-- Verbal and physical harassment.
-- Substance abuse.
-- Sexually transmitted diseases.
-- Engagement in prostitution.
-- Truancy and poor school performance.
According to the National Network of Runaway and Youth Services, up to 40% of all youth who experience homelessness identify as LGBTQ.
The psychosocial problems of gay and lesbian adolescents are primarily the result of societal stigma, hostility, hatred and isolation… These youth are severely hindered by societal stigmatization and prejudice, limited knowledge of human sexuality, a need for secrecy, a lack of opportunities for open socialization, and limited communication with healthy role models… [This] may lead to isolation, runaway behavior, homelessness, domestic violence, depression, suicide, substance abuse, and school or job failure.
~ American Academy of Pediatrics
The Risk of At-Risk Labels
• When we define a group as at-risk, the way we work with that group changes.
• As professional helpers, we start looking for deficits and pathologies.
• Interventions and clinical work becomes about fixing problems.
• We forget to ask, “What do you have already that makes you strong?”
• Avoiding the At-Risk Label does not mean ignoring the real challenges or dangers faced by LGBTQ teens.
Five Resiliency Skills
• Insight – Honestly assessing one’s situation.
• Initiative – Remaining determined to prevail despite adversity.
• Integrity – Doing the right thing even when it is hard.
• Creativity – Using imagination to relieve troubling emotions and environmental chaos.
• Connectedness – Building positive relationships with others.
What is connectedness? It is a sense of being a part of something larger than oneself. It is a sense of belonging, or a sense of accompaniment. It is that feeling in your bones that you are not alone. It is a sense that, no matter how scary things may become, there is a hand for you in the dark. While ambition drives us to achieve, connectedness is my word for the force that urges us to ally, to affiliate, to enter into mutual relationships, to take strength and to grow through cooperative behavior.
~ Edward M. Hallowell, Finding the Heart of the Child
Fostering Resiliency
• Intentionally integrate the five resiliency skills into your work as a helping professional.
• Provide opportunities for youth to use their natural resiliencies and develop new ones.
• Without ignoring real challenges that may exist, focus on strengths.
• Create opportunities for meaningful contributions.
• Help youth improve self-efficacy.
Further Reading
• Lesbian and Gay Youth: Care and Counseling, by Caitlin Ryan and Donna Futterman
• The New Gay Teenager, by Ritch C. Savin
• Queer Kids, by Robert E. Owens, Jr.
• Resiliency In Action, Nan Henderson, editor
• The Resilient Self, by Steven J. Wolin and Sybil Wolin
• We Don’t Exactly Get the Welcome Wagon, by Gerald P. Mallon
